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See, my dad is trying to delay my school intake, from March to May, to July and now January 2012. I doubt he did it on purpose, until I give up and start with a job. =/ I always complain to my grandma, saying that if he wanted to raise 5 kids, he should have at least let one of us study in college. Sometimes, I have to admit that my dad makes me give up on education. Why? Few years ago, probably Standard 4, he suddenly gather all of us and say that he would gift us anything we WANTED, even a house if our result ranked above half of the class, depands on the populations of our class. It's piece of cake for me and my sister since we always on Top 10. My dad did gift my sister what she wanted, a bicycle. Until then, I thought I was going to take my prize but my dad told me he spent quite a lot money for the bicycle so he can't afford another one for me, I felt cheated. Then I simply pick a doll in store so I can quickly end this awkwardness. After that, My brother, He DID NOT ranked within half of the class population, but he gotten his gift, the same one my dad brought for my second brother on his last birthday. Unfortunatly, that gifts was more expensive than my sister bicycle. That's why I don't understand. I don't remember when was the last time I receive birthday pressent from my parents. Everytime I tells my grandma, she will be like Oh I never buy gift for your father and uncle too. Well for your infomation, you always tells me how poor was you in your day, I never told you that. I don't think that she seriously spent 200,000 for my uncle's achitecture studies. Who would believe that since achitecture for degree only 80,000 nowadays, and my uncle told me that he just taken Master course in Nottingham, it means, I don't believe it. Like the other day, she told me about her daughter's husband and her ex-boyfriend, saying that they dislike when the guy was a kid because he don't study and work as a lorry driver, and now he's a boss. Then I remind her that her Son-in-law don't have temper, Taiwanese and hard working. The words comes out after that makes me realised she really cares about money, because she mention again that that guy own business, a boss, and current son-in-law doesn't own a business. I was like, why are you so sensitive with the money? I wish my dad could know, sometimes grandma talks about my father and mother's stuff, she will ask me to go to her room and talk, avoid my father from hearing, because it's fake? Oh C'man!

... ... Where was I?
Ah... I realise I have to study for myself when I'm in Form 5, I don't live for people, I live for myself. I was born to make myself happy. Well, some subjects were like TOO LATE. After I graduated High School, my dad offered me the University of Nottingham, he said like he has been preparing my tuition fee for a long time. Now, Taylor's, he don't even wanna pay my registration fee even I asked him for money. Delay Delay Delay... I'm doubting, reasons will be made in future? Apparently, I just applied Cambridge school, 630 3 months, the first month will be an additional 110 for books. I've told myself, IF he's gonna find reason like Your mom just wanted me to waste another 4000 for... bbblah... I WILL pay myself, and as for Taylor's OR Nottingham, I will find another way without his help because I can't count on my own father anymore. I will move to my mother's office with my sister since she's staying there due to her working area. I'm not cruel, I just don't want others to be my拖油瓶.

I see everyone's parents, help her kids in education, help them search for schools and loan, pay their registration fee without hesitation (Since most of them loan PTPTN). My dad, offered Monash and Nottingham, ask me to deal with those documentary. As for now, he never ask for my school anymore, that's what makes me so sure about it. Now, I'm not afraid of what course should I take but whether can I enter a school or not.

I feel so shame if I wasn't able to study further. Change a sentence(Please don't hate me), I was once a Top student but end up with this crap.

That's it.