What to say, nothing much happens this week, the only thing different is I'm working now. Well, helping I prefered. I'm kinda depressed on this situation. Why? I am worrying about my Pre-U tuition fee, resources fee, et cetera. Most people from my mother side ask me to stop further studies and start working. They just don't know how much that hurts me, if I only owned abilities like my brothers, I mean not well in studies, I would think of stopping. But now, I'm not. Other people just encourage me not to worry. I'm sorry, maybe you can, but I can't.
For some reason, I am now the only one might get chances to get to Pre-U, even my sister didn't score enough for Pre-U, she hate maths. Why can't someone led me to positive thinking? Don't just ask me to runaway from problem, that doesn't solve! I can't control my emotional now, Physical and Mental.
It probably would cost me a lot more money for Pre-U than Diploma, but it just worth a try. I knew it! After that, I will try my best to get myself applied in Kentucky's College in US. It wasn't a famous college, but the one who got picked in hundreds will get scholarship from US, Bachelor Degree for 4 Years. I will try to find another school who can accept me after Pre-U and TOEFL. TOEFL is the only way since I'm not going to take SAT.
I get insomnia for like half year, I just don't know what am I thinking? I just can't sleep well. Even though I wake up on 6 in the morning, I still stay up to 3 ~ 4 midnight. I am so done with it.
Now, it's only matter of time. Well, probably matter of money too.
I might regret the pathway I chose now, it will be more tougher than I thought it was. But, someone once told me, "Do not regret things that you have done, Do regret things that you never try." Inspired from one tweet in twitter, that's the biggest reason why I love using twitter, tweeters always gives clues and ways for me.
I seriously miss High School now, I regretted things that I never tried in High School, when where I can still act sarcastic.
I start making YouTube video nowadays, even though my friends don't like to be insight, I will still make them. I was inspired by Bubz/Lyndi, she gives me a lot confidence whenever she posts a video. I was going to take Mass Communication or Multimedia when I decided to make video, but GuangYing still ask me to choose Business. Once I went to Pahang where I ask which is the best subject for me. They told me Management, I don't really trust them because I don't like management. Time flies, everytime when I'm on a case, my mother will laugh out loud and says business management fits me well. Now, I can feel like trusting it because I realised. It was like I finally get the point. Come to think of that, Mass Communication and Multimedia, I can able to study until Bachelor Degree, for Business Management, I can study until Master or Ph.D but I'm not going to go so further if I can't get to Kentucky's.
The world helps me a lot, at least my parents still can afford me, I guess.
Destiny eh? We wasn't chosen to be in Account class because we wasn't made to be sitting in office, facing computer, telephone ringing and fax machine everywhere. Even though Business management needs Account, but it's just basic, I think I can do it. I felt relieved.
Well, since I still have time, I will take my time.
Sincerely, me. XD
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